How to React when Your Child Loses Self Control – Smart Parents

CAMERA/LIGHT/SOUND EQUIPMENT  provided by Speranta TV
SOUND DESIGN Valentin Bogdan, Laurentiu Bugan
SPECIAL THANKS Andreea Paun, Irina Anghel, Florin Ghetu, Aritina Barbulescu, Cristian Magura, Cristina Cuncea, Mihai Bolonyi, Costin Banica, Petrica Cristescu, AnaMaria Lupu, Dorin Aiteanu
SCREENWRITER Aritina Barbulescu, Elida Oncea
DIRECTOR Attila Peli

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First of all, it is fundamental to understand that you are the hero / you are the prince charming of your child’s story. You are the first Super Star that they imitate. So, let me tell you how you can defeat the “dragon”:

1. Be aware of what triggers their lack of self-control. When your child is small, you can often lose your temper because of the idealistic expectations you have or because you didn’t explain them as clearly as you could. So, you need to make sure that what you ask your child is something according to their age and level of understanding.

2. Choose a word or an image to help you remember to slow down. For instance, choose something you can repeat in your mind which can help you get the negative emotions on hold for the moment.

3. TIME OUT plus a cup of tea. When the situation is so overwhelming that you feel like you’re going to give up, keep in mind that it is better to take a short break, perhaps 10-20 minutes, until you calm down some, instead of saying or doing something you will regret later. The cup of tea is not only a small treat for you, but it also gives you the time to slow down and rethink the strategy.

4. Respect his or her dignity. Children who are often exposed to being yelled at in an attempt to force them to do something, develop an immunity to such demonstrations. You may be teaching them to become rebellious, disrespectful, or simply ignore you. Instead, it would be wiser if you and your spouse repeat the expectations and rules for them, even if it is for the hundredth time. You will be more likely to create an environment in which self-control is valued and recognized.

5. Be vulnerable. Perhaps your child’s lack of self-control is the result of an accumulation of challenges and problems throughout the day…as is often the case even with us adults.

That’s why I advise you to express your disappointments by verbalizing your own experiences. But it’s important to point out that what makes you sad is your child’s behavior. Under no circumstances should you tell your child you consider them to be evil, bad, or rebellious. If you build a close relationship with him, your child will learn self-control himself, not so much because he has come to understand it, but because he knows he enjoys your love for him. 6. Recognize the reality. Nobody is perfect. You’re not perfect. That’s why it’s better to communicate than to assume a dominant, dictatorial position toward them. Your own self-control is one of the most important elements of your child’s happiness. If you lose it, he/she cannot learn anything constructive. If you don’t exercise self-control, the emotional stability of today’s child, and the adult of tomorrow, is significantly affected. He will grow up thinking that it is absolutely normal to lose control when the situation becomes overwhelming. Over time, he/she won’t be able to resist peer pressure or situations when he/she may be put down or criticized, which may lead to poor quality of interactions with others. Don’t forget! Your example of self-control is the one thing that can make their life easier.

For, in the end, it is your responsibility! And your efforts will be rewarded.